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    Saturday, August 05, 2006

    I Keep Burning My Toast

    I keep burning my toast, and I'm thinking to myself, how hard can it be to make toast? I mean, with the first two slices, ok, it happens. But with the second two I'm feeling like an absolute failure. Like my life is ruined. I'm nearly crying. Nevermind that it's a little more difficult to make toast in a toaster oven when you've been raised on a toaster. There's no lever-and-dial-combo on a toaster oven. There's just two dials, and there's a science to getting both dials just right. So I've burnt my toast. Recently I've been being very frugal, trying not to waste anything, eating the ends of the bread, and when I'd burnt toast (only the first two slices, of course, learning from my mistakes) I'd eat it anyway. Once I slather it with that yogurt spread and the organic strawberry spread (that I keep telling anyone who will listen is the food of the gods nevermind the fact that it may be causing my intestinal problems), you can't really tell it's burnt. But not today. Today, four slices of bread go in the trash. I'm feeling kind of reckless. Maybe because my boyfriend is at another woman's house, drinking daiquiris and most likely sleeping with her. Nevermind that we're in an open relationship, so this should be okay. Nevermind that it wasn't all that long ago that I told him if he wanted to have sex on a regular basis, he should find someone else to do it with. But that was when something was wrong with me, and every time we had sex it hurt. Now things are better. I mean, we've had sex three times in the last thirty six hours AND we went to work. And when I think about it, it's not like I want monogamy. It's not like I want to take the ability to have something with another person off the table. It's just that I didn't want to burn my toast.

    3 Comments:

    Blogger EROCK said...

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    8:30 PM  
    Blogger EROCK said...

    Ha! Totally wacky - I love stories about toast that manage to mention detailed sexual information. You're super!

    8:33 PM  
    Blogger gutter slut said...

    wow, that made me sad. you shouldn't cry over burnt toast. if you know what i mean!!! boys are not worth that many pieces of trashed bread.

    9:39 PM  

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